Bongaboi, my husband, brought home to my apartment some blood tomato salad and a giant beaver burger meal for two, to go with some coffee biscuits and frozen spirits. "Hey Bae," he said. "I brought food and I have a story to tell you."
"Mmm, this is very filling," I said, putting the burger and fries, cookies, salad and drinks down on the table. "Thanks for the lunch. So, what's this about?"
"I have a story about a porxie, namely one about your portly porxie Ezelinho. Apparently, he had a nightmare that I decided to share with you."
"Ezelinho had a nightmare? I thought he digested those things? Or at least I defeat them."
"No, what one of the pixies told me is that porxies have the ability to sleep and have visions of things, so I wanted to share this with you. So here it goes."
Porxies have the power to sleep and dream of vibrant visions that are ingrained and remembered even days after the fact. One portly porxie fell into a deep sleep after riding for days on end across the Source and First. He had a vision of being taken care of by the most worthy of caretakers, yes, most worthy indeed...
...except it was an ignoble rube by the name of Sean the Shameless. (Sean the Shameless is not his actual name, this is used to protect the true identity of this unfaithful flesh pillar of hateful hatefulness.) Sean's father was once a ruler of Voeburt but was known from philandering and fornicating with buxom Drahn maidens of varying degrees of purity and piety.
Sean's mother was also a bad apple on the inside. A queen of Voeburt, she drowned on one unnamed night in Longmirror Lake after supposedly skinny-dipping in smallclothes, naked as her nameday, intoxicated from imbibing 69 vials of purple carrot juice laced with traces of poison. His mother died when he was in his 7th summer, and so the poor lad never knew what it mean to have a mother figure, aside from the Drahn mistresses his dad would covet.
But it was his portly porxie, acquired from Lugg Aenc, the Nu Mou porxie trainer of great renown and a vessel of the old Voeburtian monarchy before its downfall, that Sean the Shameless loved. He would ride it to the ends of the star, and see the First for what it was, energetic, exciting, beautiful. His mount, according to the young man, was the key to maintaining his reason to live and to give. It was very much an extension of him.
Many weeks passed though, and one day, as the Flood caused Norvrandt to be washed in light, he suddenly became caught in a fit of rage. His porxie asked Sean, "Whatever is the matter?"
To which Sean would say, "Be out of my sight, you thrice-damned fiend, I will not suffer you any longer!" He then delivered a roundhouse kick to his porxie, injuring him, before he ran away, as far as he could, as his energy could give him.
Years passed, and this explosion of rage was to be in his rear view mirror. He would become a well-trained hunter with Clan Nutsy and exist to hunt sin eaters and other bloodthirsty monsters. But then, in one foray to a dungeon that strangely resembled a place called Matoya's Relict, his heart sunk like a two tonze stone.
It was the porxie that Sean the Shameless had injured and nearly killed, were it not for some timely intervention from Lugg Aenc and his pixie comrades. It had gotten bigger, stronger, and now was wearing a brown-colored crown and gown. And it also turned into a female.
In a blind rage and a piercing shriek, Sean plunged into the Mother Porxie...only to be swallowed up and devoured, killing him instantly and turning his now dead flesh and clothes and arms into aether to sustain the porxie's revengeful state of rage...
...and that was when the portly porxie woke up from its nightmare, crying and realizing how good things were compared to now. It then returned to its owner to continue to serve as a mount worth living for. the end.
"So, Bae, how did you like that story?" asked Bonga to me, as I finished my meal.
"Did you make that whole thing up while you were sleeping, or did my porxie actually have that type of nightmare?" I asked.
An invisible camera zoomed in on Bonga. "I made it up from my own dreams."
Two minutes later, Bonga was in a corner of his own apartment with a few tall hairy headbumps after giving me a cringe story he shared. Sean the Shameless ?...get out of here...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Fqc3cELSw