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Elril Moonweaver

Phoenix [Light]

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[SPOILER] Resetting Elril’s story - Part 3 Pre 3.4

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THE CONTEXT

So, for the longest time I've not continued my New Game+ run that I promised myself I'd do in order to pinpoint Elrilr's personality for my headcanon. I think the last proper quest I did was the one involving the Keeper of the Lake dungeon... all the way back in August if I am not mistaken. And I did earnestly try to get back into the New Game+ run again and again during these past few months, but nowadays spending time with my friends and helping them and people from my FC is more valuable to me, personally speaking, than trying to construct a story for the only character that I still find real from the FF14 story.

Many people say that their characters feel out of place from the FF14 story, I am the exact opposite. Since I finished EW in April and I've decided to go with a completely different headcanon for my character, I have slowly but surely become uninterested in the characters that captured my attention for months, when I was playing this game basically alone. As such, my own character, Elril is the only real character in the story for me now.

Suddenly the Scions lacked any sort of personality, any sort of depth outside of later expansions and revisiting the story they are a part of, all by myself, with none of my friends, is kind of discouraging me from actually following through with my plan to do an ARR to EW NG+ run.

The amount of time I spend doing quests alone during New Game+ I could be spending talking to one of my friends, or joining an event or helping them out with smth. I started seriously considering doing NG+ back in July because I was feeling lonely and burned out of the usual monotony of doing daily roulettes.

The context for my current state of being has completely changed and New Game+ does not seem appealing to me anymore. Those very friends that gave me purpose, now, through no fault of their own, aside from being my friends, are the reason why I am considering not doing New Game+ anymore. Yes! I do still want to pinpoint my character’s personality so that I can firmly add him into my headcanon, but even my headcanon for him has changed, ever since I first wrote the idea for it, shortly after finishing EW. That does not coincide with my current idea for Elril.

For all intents and purposes, Elril’s story has morphed into my own, it has become much more personal for me to focus on his healing in this headcanon I have for him now, than highlighting his relationship with the Scions and whatnot.

This is why he voluntarily leaves the Scions in my headcanon. Much like I did in my former FC, he steps down as Scion and becomes a lone wolf for a while, during which time he falls in love with a Hyur woman, who he seeks comfort in. This is actually my best friend’s character which I’ve inserted into my guy’s headcanon and her character is the only one I am acknowledging as existing within Elril’s story. There are several reasons as to why that is, but the general idea is a show of gratitude.
—---

Hmm…
Now I don’t know exactly if I want to completely give up on my New Game+ run. I still want to continue building up Elril’s character. I skipped a good… 150 quests, due to my reluctance to go through the HW story… again! for the 3rd time, and yet I still want to revisit the story of the Warriors of Darkness, and Baelsar’s Wall and go back to Stormblood with Elril.

I really need to get out of the HW expansion. It’s weighing me down.
—---

So! Onward… I guess… to the story of HW 3.4.



A story in which Elril, due to the change in his worldview, will put down the Red Mage rapier - unwillingly - and pick up the Gunblade. Elril fainted during the battle with Nidhogg and he received the shards of his rapier on his hospital bed. (This is actually a very nice scene to make into a drawing *furiously writes down drawing idea*).

He is hurt, both physically and mentally, he closes up once he sees the weapon, that was a literal and metaphorical protection against those who have wronged him, shattered before him. It takes a while for him to recover, during which time he chooses to forget the hurt he’s been through: the Bloody Banquet, his guilt at letting Haurchefant die due to his own spite for the man and his fights with Nidhogg and Thordan.

Elril’s decision to take up the Gunblade comes after he convinces himself that he needs to keep going, that he needs to forget all the hurt he has gone through. He does not permit himself to linger, he goes on without ever truly healing from the hurt he endured. Elril took up Red Magery as a way to deal with the hurt and the injustice that was done to him during the Bloody Banquet, basically shedding the innocent view he had on the people he helped during ARR, but never truly renouncing his White Mage origins.

Without his rapier he is forced to take up something else and during the time he recovers, he learns of the ways of the Gunbreakers from Radovan, who is also in the infirmary after one of his many episodes of residual spasm. Radovan has heard tales about Elril and is quite interested in teaching the ways of the Gunbreaker to the famous Warrior of Light, said to be a most diligent student, having a preternatural ability to easily pick up everything, as it happened with White Magic and Red Magery. Elril leaves Ishgard along with Radovan and Sophie, fully loses himself in his training as a Gunbreaker. His wounds heal, but emotionally he chooses to close up, to forget. He fortifies his body, but his memories also get locked in the back of his mind.

The next time the Scions see him, he is as a new man, no longer the innocent wide-eyed idealist they came to know when he joined them as a White Mage. He is hardened to the world, cautious, every move he does, everything he says is guarded and he continues to put up a shield between his emotions and the rest of the Scions. The past does not interest him anymore, Elril is only focused on the future, on protecting those he cares about and does not let his past hurts bother him... nor does he let them heal.
—----

Bearing this in mind, I will get him through the NG+ run starting with 3.4 as a stoic and will probably point out any moment where Elril does not appear to be in-character at all. There are probably gonna be a lot of instances such as this. I am not sure how emotionally distant I should make him and how much of his guard he should let down and whose presence, but I think that the best Scions that may understand what he's going though is Alisaie and Krile. So I will probably have him be a bit more... considerate towards them, allow himself to be a bit more vulnerable before them.

Now that I am fairly certain HOW I want Elril’s character to be like moving forward all that’s left is to ... sigh... actually continue the story. Maybe if I get into some sort of rhythm I may be able to do... I dunno, 2-3 quests per day. It may be slow going, but if it means I'm gonna be finally able to continue my NG+ run.
---------------

A friend of mine told me, when I presented this conflict I am having within myself, that I needn't renounce the idea of going through my NG+ run, thinking that it will deprive me of my time with my friends and that spending it with them does not mean I don't value Elril or his story. It's just not at the top of my priority list currently.

As much as I want to have a palpable story for Elril, I am going through a period where I am spending so much time with my friends and cherishing every moment with them and I want to be a part of it, every step of the way.

If Elril's story needs to take a backseat for that to happen so be it, but I will try and get through at least a part of his story from time to time.
------------------------

Blogs in the Headcannon series - in chronological order:
Planning
Part 1
Part 2
Backstory
Part 3
---------------------------

That's all I wanted to say for now.
Stay safe, my fellow Warriors of Light.

- Warrior of Light, Elril Moonweaver
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