Riley Caine

Maduin [Dynamis]

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Making friends is easy, it's the maintenance ...


You're alone. Say you're loitering in a city hub, or just passing through. You see people interacting with each other, enjoying varying levels of closeness.

Some people are just sharing surface-level jokes that don't require any risk of revealing any personal vulnerability. Others are at a point where they're seen enjoying the other's company day after day.

Maybe you wonder how you might find a friend like that? Or perhaps you're just as well and happy just to enjoy the freedom of your personal space not being rented out by another. Or are you further in an extreme part of either side in that spectrum?

Say you're on the discontent side of the spectrum. You want & wonder. Why don't you have what you want? Is it because of you? Is it that something's wrong with you?

Or maybe you just like the idea of having a close friend, but in practice, it makes you tired maintaining the friendship you desire. You want more than you have the mental capacity to meet half way? So you're left hoping someone comes along who can make up the difference.

You're so packed up, you need someone to listen, but you're unable to do the same for them. Well, it can feel that way right?

The point is, maybe nothing is inherently wrong with you. Maybe you're all demand and no supply right now. You haven't felt 'heard' in so long, anyone who comes by just gets overwhelmed. Are they the same as you? If you came by a person, and they didn't have the capacity to listen, that's quite a pickle. You both trickle & unload, yet neither will feel 'heard' because neither have the capacity to listen.

Or maybe there's something else going on. Maybe you've been burned more than not when opening up past a certain point. You've learned to keep your guard up, because last time you lowered it you got punched in the face and it left a bruise everyone noticed. You got tired of people asking how you got the bruise, then after you're healed up, people still remember you're the one who had the bruise.

People who've had similar bruises know not to bring it up, you just nod at each other as you pass in the hallway.

I'm not attempting to explain or propose this as reality. There's no explanation that fits all.

Humans are wired, like everything else. It's hard to move forward sometimes unless we look under the hood now and then. I think this is the best we can do when we have an overstock of supply and no where to dump it. Just get in there and sort it out yourself a little. At least just enough to make room for someone else should they come along.

((Just in case - This is NOT me asking for someone to be my friend, please don't interpret it that way. I legitimately enjoy simply exploring topics like this from time to time.))
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